Some call them "Resolutions", well we have referred to it as an "Operation...". We have made many Operations over our 13 years together (graduating college, finding jobs, change from preschool to elementary school teacher, moving, opening Bob's practice, etc). The one "Operation" we always had on our list...having a baby, was our most difficult one to date. For some, this comes easy. For others, it becomes a wait and see.
When Bob and I first met, we always talked about having children. It was what we wanted to do. Me, being the planner, thought when Bob gets his doctorate we relocate for his job and wait a year to have us settle in, then by October the following year we will be pregnant. I'll have the baby in June and not need to take any time off from teaching. Well Bob received his doctorate 7 years ago....enough said.
Have you tried (insert here)? The answer is no. Bob and I felt the moment that we met that we would always adopt. We felt that we would want to give a child a family that for no fault of their own didn't have one.
I've spent most of my adult life helping to make an impact in a child's life some how. This will be my 16th year teaching full time and 19 years total teaching (adding my 3 years part time at KSU). I know, I know...I don't look old enough for that but...I am!
Now that you know the background, let me put you in our house December 24, 2012. Christmas Eve is a very quiet time when you live 1,000+ miles from your relatives. I walked into the Coca-Cola room and said to Bob...okay, Operation get us a baby! Let's adopt. We had been trying for so long that we could see the relief after I finally came to grips. Bob tells me later that he knew that is what I wanted to do...but was waiting for me to work through my grief and make the decision myself.
So in true Jen fashion, Christmas Eve was research time! Only 1 other person knew our plans, because everyone knows that I can't keep a secret (well actually I'm better than most of you knew)! I requested information from 5 different agencies. We had NO IDEA about what we were about to embark on. We knew there were different options (open, closed, domestic, foster-to-adopt, international), but we had NO IDEA what we wanted to do. Unfortunately for my unknowing parents who came to visit a few days after we formed our "Operation", I was in baby mode...plus I had gotten sick (great combo). During their visit, I'd have to hide in the room to take a phone call from agency, "go to the bathroom" to read paperwork that had been Fed-ex'd to us, and hide back my tears when my mom bought me a Pandora bracelet with a Purple Zen and Angel charm on them (if only she knew).
The next 2 months were deciding what route we were to take. After MUCH research, we decided International adoption. We had been through enough and couldn't imagine a birth mother changing their mind at the last minute. Now from where? We looked into French speaking countries since Bob speaks French. Can you believe how many countries you have to travel 2-3 times before you bring your child home? I couldn't picture myself leaving him/her there. PLUS, Bob couldn't take that much time away from his patients.
I'll never forget the moment when Holt's folder came into my household. I jumped up and down and said to Bob...well based on organization alone this one wins hands down. Did we make the decision then? Nope. Research continued. We had narrowed it down to 2 agencies. We called and talked to a few adoptive parents that we knew. Boy did that help tremendously! It was great hearing from others the same concerns and such that we were feeling! Had they been secretly spying on us.
Well, we made our decision to choose Holt quite easy. We have always been interested in Asian culture. Sometimes are decisions are right in front of our face (have you seen our living room...it is decorated in Asian inspired print, collectables) ...China it was! We had to choose a local agency (since Holt's located in Oregon) to our Home Study. After that, our application was accepted and we were officially in Holt's China Program mid March.
We were told from date of application (Feb. 24, 2013) that we should expect to travel approximately 12-18 months from application. We called and told our immediate families around the end of March (yes, we kept it from all but 2 people for 3 months)!. We told them to keep it quiet until we had our Home Study approved.
From March through June, we had many things to take care of: doctors' visits, blood work, police stations, fingerprints, Home Visits, reference letters, baby proofing our house, collecting paperwork, passports, updated drivers' licenses, choosing a preschool (yes we were required to do it) and more paperwork...
Mom came in June and we announced to her that we will be having....a GIRL!!!! We are not matched yet, but we feel that a girl will fit into our household perfect. So...yes there is a baby room that has curtains and is started to be set up. I had to promise Bob that I wouldn't get a crib and dresser until we are matched.
During this time of waiting, we decided to get ourselves healthy. Bob has been smoke-free since July 1st! We both are very near or at our goal weight!
After our final home study visit...we waited, and waited, and waited until August 27, 2013 I woke up to go to work. I woke Bob up and said the approval is coming today...I saw it about 5 times in my dream. He said sure honey (after almost 3 months of waiting...who can blame him). After school, STILL no word...my friends, who by now knew because I was checking my phone CONSTANTLY, made me go to the beach for a girls' "night" after work day. We took a swim in the ocean, when I came back, of course, I checked my phone and the first thing I see is an email with the heading...Home Study approved...I screamed (yes that was me if you were on the beach that day)...thank goodness they all knew what that meant.
Sooooo what does this mean? We are now waiting to be matched with our baby girl and with extreme circumstances (twins, siblings)...we are approved for 2 children either gender. Our child will be under the age of 42 months when she comes.
Do you have a name? YES....but no we won't tell you. We will be using part of her Chinese name as her middle name, so we want to make sure it matches.
What's next? We are about to send off i800a, which is an application to Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country. After this, we await to be told when we can have our NEXT set of fingerprints that we must go to New Orleans to get them done. While all this is going on, we've been collecting an enormous amount of paperwork that will all need to be state certified, then sealed by the Chinese Embassy before it goes to China.
Our immediate plans? We are currently working on putting together some fundraisers. Adoption is expensive. I became an Advocare distributor to help with some of the costs. Also, we are planning a garage sale (any donations accepted), t-shirt sale (in the works), and working with adopttogether.org to provide a tax deductible place to receive donations. I have some keychains (FSU and Gator ones right now) that I am making to sell ($5) and made some shell earrings that Mom has if you are interested in helping out.
So over 8 months later...we are on target for our May-June trip to China. We will know for sure once we are matched.
Now wouldn't it be great if we meet our little girl around May 29, 2014...that will be our 10 year wedding anniversary!
Well, what have you been doing the last 8 months? Thanks for listening! We will be posting here with updates as they become available.
Welcome to Operation Bring Baby Smith Home!
Love,
Jen, Bob and Soon-to-be Baby Smith
